Oh Frick!!.........the chin hair.

Okay, so I am just out of the shower, and I'm brushing my teeth and checking for any (additional) blackheads that may have appeared on my nose overnight (which by the way appears larger than it did yesterday, Can a nose put on weight?  )

Anyhoo, there I am recoiling in horror at my skin because it seems to have decided that it will resemble that of a thirteen year old in the throws of puberty and no matter what I use to try to tame it, I still continue to get spots on a regular basis  

So, I have a little check of the oul eyebrows and thankfully they were only plucked last week so they are fine, and then just before I start to wonder if it is indeed the harsh bathroom light that is making me look like the surface of the moon or something more sinister I see it......................Staring at me like a beacon in the night.
If this were a horror film I would hear the dreadful tones from "psyco" as she pulls back the curtain 

"REH REH REH!!!" 

and then we would have three successful close up's of it in quick succession, each of them moving further and further in to the offending item until you are sitting on the couch with your face buried in a cushion too afraid to open your eyes, and waiting until it's safe to look again.

It was a fricking chin hair!!!!!!!

And I'm not talking of a bit of fluff either, it was practically a.................................oh God I can't even bare to say the word.....................a............. **shudder**.............Whisker  

It was long and black, sticking out about a centimeter!!!!!

I mean we aren't talking stubble here, which then forces me to ask myself the question, "If it's that long in length then How long exactly has it been there?"


Rewind about six months, and I am sitting at my lovely Dr Love's office, and we are talking about medication that will control my PCOS and he tells me all the symptoms of having this, one of them being extra body hair due to extra testosterone in my system (I mean, who doesn't want to be told that they are slowly turning into a bloke by a gorgeous man   )

Now I am sitting there, trying to control the severe blushing that my cheeks are insisting on doing (which is pointless, as there is no way to control it) of course doing my usual panic inner voice.

"Oh frick, he is basically telling me I'm a bloke, I'm gonna have a hairy chest, oh god I'm sure I found a hair on my nipple the other day, this is just the start of it, I will get a hairy back, and arse...............oh god I will have a five O'clock shadow, and I will end up as one of those ladies you see walking in the supermarket with a shaving rash looking at the tampax whilst everyone else around her wondering if I am buying them to feel more feminine or if I am indeed a he-she before they start taking bets on whether I will head towards the mens or the ladies should I get caught short. 
It will get to the stage where I prance around topless in front of DH and he only sees me out of the corner of his eye and then asks me "Is it not a bit warm to be wearing a jumper"

Well, I distinctly remember Doctor Love telling me that "They now make some very good creams for facial hair, if you ever find that you need any just come in and see me"

Now as if that in itself wasn't enough to make me cry every fifteen minutes for the next month he actually said it WHILST RUBBING HIS CHIN!!!!!!     

The whisker must have been there staring him in the face the whole time.
He was clearly trying to save me from discovering the horror that was this evening, and save me from being the tampax lady I described above.

So if you see some poor bloke at the ball wondering around in a (little bit too tight) dress, think you should know that it isn't Mr Man trying to make you all laugh, it will be me, and seeing as I will NEVER EVER go to see Doctor love to ask him for the "Stop me looking like a SheMale" face cream then I am just going to have to ask you all nicely not to point and laugh!!!!!!

Right I am armed with the tweezers, and I will now go to pluck it before it starts actually breeding and then get to bed and try to erase this unspeakable incident from my memory